feistytrader | empatheias IC CONTACT

Why?

[He asks the question casually enough, but there's some of his nice concerned warmth along with it, too. ...Which is melting the ice.

...Emotions are- no, don't even think it.]

For... a lot of reasons, I guess, but most of all for something I can't tell you.

[What would Silver even think of her? He'd hate her, right? Only fitting, considering she hates herself so much for it. It'd been heat of the moment and fine to tell Junko Enoshima, the fucking mess of Empatheias, about it all, but telling Silver feels like it's too...

scary. She's scared, and the room seems to darken in response.]

A lot of those reasons are connected to the thing I can't tell you. Sorry.

[...The thing she can't tell him. Well, that's fine, because there are things that he can't tell her too.]

Does it have to do with that other... No, I won't call him that. He called himself... Something with despair.

[Silver pushes up his bangs to give a proper impression.]

[From the flinch, it's hitting the nail on the head, and in tandem with the darkness there's a new heaviness pressing down as well. Her narrowed eyes and cautiousness don't help the situation either.]

How much do you know about that?

...All I know is that he's some pretentious jerk.

[Looks like he really nailed it, huh...]

Edited 2016-03-18 03:16 (UTC)

[Reaaaally nailed it, though whatever relief she has at the moment vanishes as she realizes that her reaction's given enough away as is.

At least hatred's a fond friend of hers or this would be worse off. There's still some of the wood rotting though. Just a bit of decay.]

He, um. He calls himself... the King of Despair, and for the past three years he's had free rein of my brother's body. By my brother's choice.

[There's so much more to this than just that, but it's coming out in bits and pieces.]

...They share a body?

[But White you said it was another- she lied.

Like a liar.]

Why would he want to share a body with that guy?

[She had to lie. It's not something she can speak so freely of, and even now it's obvious that it's something she's not wanting to talk about too much.]

To protect me. As long as that guy doesn't involve me in anything he does, he can do whatever he wants with Black's body.

[But it's-- kind of hard to understand, she guesses, without know why exactly.]

Before he was kind of a giant ball of blue energy. That's why they have to share a body. It was me or him, and I-- I couldn't move, I couldn't speak until it was already too late and he-- he--

[There's no way she's keeping it together, not when the memory's surfacing so harshly again, but breaking down now feels so stupid that she just buries her face away, shaking, trying for a deep breath and getting strained sobs instead.]

[On one hand, he should probably be appropriately horrified that some insane blue energy thing exists in Black's body.

...On the other hand, being horrified implies he has any capacity for anything other than accepting despair in him at the moment, so instead he just kind of tugs White into a hug and calls it a day.]

I'm sorry.

[For making her talk about this. For making her think about it again.

Then again, she probably has to think about it all the time...]

Edited 2016-03-18 04:18 (UTC)

[Every day she looks at Black she remembers that there's another thing inside of him. Every day she remembers how useless she was in keeping her promise to her dad, as silly as it was to ask an eleven year old to keep an eye on her big brother, how powerless she felt and the fear that asides in her still at the thought of blue fire. And every single day the King of Despair doesn't talk to her her fear grows more and more.

It should be a spot of happiness and hope that he's kept quiet. But it only serves as a thorn of worry in her side, since they'd been in contact before they'd come here, and no news is bad news when it comes to him.]

I'm sorry for lying to you. But how could I have ever explained that to a total stranger? I'm scared that if something happens, that if that jerk does something to hurt someone else, that Black'll be blamed and I won't be able to do anything again. That I'll just be on the sidelines as useless as I was that day.

[Silver's such a lovely tissue to use, and she's cried more on him than she's had on like, anyone else. She feels a mess and boy is self-loathing such a lovely constant in her life.]

I wouldn't tell something like that to a stranger either. You don't have to apologize to me.

[He rubs her back gently; it's the most he can do to comfort her at this point.]

...Do you have a plan for if something like that happens? Is there any way to prevent it?

[I mean it sounds like a pretty hopeless situation but he might as well ask- man, this potion is annoying.]

[Oh no that's not just the potion, apparently, because White's shaking her head.]

Not... really. If he wants to hurt someone, then he'll do it. There's nothing Black and I can do to stop it.

[She sniffles, closing her eyes to focus on the warmth Silver provides in comfort, and breathes out. As exhausted as she is, it's easy for the rest to spill out.]

... Mostly. That night when I lost my brother, I made a deal of my own with him: That I'd be willing to do anything to get Black back. No matter what it was, no matter who I'd have to hurt, I'd do anything I could to help him so that he'd keep Black by my side. As long as that holds, then he's more likely to come to me and ask me to do something than to do it on his own, I think.

[So... that's the second part of their deal. It's not the whole of why she hates herself, but it's part.]

And it holds here. He told me so when we first arrived. So that might help, a little, but as a whole it's hopeless.

...You're in a tough situation.

[Not that he would have done any better if it was Blue. That's just the way family is. ...Or most family, anyway.]

Let me know if I can help, okay? I'm not going to help that guy, but that doesn't mean that I can't help you.

[Even if it's with something as simple as this.]

How are you such a good person?

[It's such a weird question, she knows that, and a part of her wonders if he'd still feel the way he does knowing that she befriended someone just to use him. That, as tough as it is, she'd drop him in a moment's notice for her brother. That she really honestly believes she could.]

-- Nevermind, it's a stupid question. I'm sorry for being a mess. Thanks for the offer though.

[All she'd wanted to do was test her stupid experiments and she ended up dragging it down. Stupid, stupid, stupid.]

...You're my friend. I care about you. I'd rather not see you hurt if I can help it. Being a good or bad person has nothing to do with it.

[He scoops her up and gets back on his feet, then looks over at the remaining potions. The despair one's finally worn off.]

Do you want me to finish these today?

[That strikes a pang in her, but she simply presses it behind her lips (don't break all at once, because seeing Leo get hurt definitely isn't something she wants but she has to risk that for Black) and stares uncertainly at the potions, throat tight and sleeves wet when she wipes her face off.]

That's... up to you, Silver. If you feel up for it, you can, since all I have to do is observe. But we can finish it up another time too. I don't mind either way.

[... Though it'd probably be better if they stopped, since White's kind of wanting to go home to see Black again and make sure he's safe, but powering through whatever bothers her is a Macbeth family specialty.]

...I'll come back tomorrow. You take it easy, okay?

[He should uh, probably set her down first. Yes. He gives her a quick pat on the head without really thinking about it and heads for the door.]

You too.

[Take it easy, huh. Between her cast and her breakdown, maybe she should, but with the election looming in the forefront of her mind it's hard to think of anything but.

So. Tomorrow. Bright and early she'll give him a ring and ask him to come over before the campaigns start, looking better than she did yesterday but more jittery and kind of spacey, honestly. White won't even notice him when he comes in.]

[He comes in bright and early the next day, this time without Weavile out, and uh...]

White?

[Surely you heard the door open, surely you're not that out of it- Right. Today's the day, isn't it?]

White, you're gonna do fine.

Edited 2016-03-18 06:55 (UTC)

[White jumps the second time she's called, smile spread wide as she clutches the dark green bottle in hand and then quickly sets it down.]

Good morning to you too, Silver. Does Weavile not want to join us in our experimentation?

[Let's not talk about the upcoming hours.]

[...Well okay, we won't talk about it then.]

Weavile's directly affected by my emotions. I don't want to put him through the rest of these.

[Really, he shouldn't have put him through the first.]

Good idea. They're pretty rough.

[Oooobviously.]

Were you okay at home? No bad side-effects you can remember?

I can't think of anything.

[Nothing but a little discomfort at everything he felt yesterday.]

So which one's next?

We can do anger, envy, or sadness. That's all we've got left, so do you want to get mad, be jealous, or have a good cry?

[Like she did yesterday. Which they're also not talking about.]

...I don't want to do any of those.

[Just. To put his personal feelings on the matter on the table.]

Surprise me.

empatheias IC CONTACT

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