[He starts to turn towards the door again, then pointedly doesn't; it's painfully clear that he wants to go do something about it; he's clenching his fists a little too tightly; he's lucky he has his gloves on so his nails can't dig into his skin.]
I'm furious, I've been furious a million times, but...
[But it would be so nice to storm straight up to Kimbley's place and just punch him and punch him again until he doesn't get up, or maybe cut out the middle man and have Rhyperior do it, or storm over to the Beastmaster Hunting Guild and do something because something is better than nothing.
And that's the problem, isn't it, he's all too eager to pick fights and not care what gets hurt in the process when he's angry, and it endangers him and it endangers his Pokémon. And not feeling anger isn't the answer either, so what is the answer? It has to be-]
I can keep a level head, even if I'm angry. I'm not running out to pick a fight, even if I really want to. I'm not setting myself on fire anymore.
intense, and White's going to take one of his hands. To try and pry it open a little to give him the cleanser, if he wants it, all calm with a hint of contentedness.]
I'm glad to hear that. This place would go up in flame pretty easily if that happened, and I...
[...]
I'm not all that fond of fire myself, so I appreciate the effort.
I'm sure you'll be fine, Silver. Even if you're jealous of someone, even if you find yourself wanting something, you're definitely the kind of person who'll go out and get it.
[Okay. There you go, Silver. Thanks for the trust.]
...There are some things you just can't get yourself.
[No matter how much you want them. He drinks the last one, and the effect is ice again, but rather than build up on his shoes, it's sharp, jagged, and spreads out and away from him.]
I shouldn't be surprised that those are the things I want.
Wistful for the things I couldn't possibly have. A normal life, true freedom, people that I-- [don't use almost slips out and she presses her lips hard, gaze flicking away and then back.] That I could, um, trust. Or have as my own, I guess. Romantically. Thing.
[.. It's not a untruth anyway.]
The people I like are either taken, in only for the fun, or... Well, the last is a kind of a special case, so. Has to do with my deal with the devil.
[Kind of a half-joke, from the sounds of it, but maybe it's letting out too much.]
So! I know they're all pretty trivial things, but just stuff like that.
[And that she could be half as decent as some of the people she knows-- she's jealous that they're so good because it's in their nature. It's something she's jealous and hates about Silver too as much as she loves and appreciates it.]
[...Well that's a way to start this off, isn't it.]
Everyone who's had a normal life, even for a little while. Or who grew up with a loving parent, or didn't have to grow up in the woods. Everyone that has someone they know around, or that knows how to act around people, and-
[So she's one of the people he's jealous of, which makes her giggle inappropriately considering the question he asks, but she just can't help it. She'd been jealous of him after all.]
A good person-- [Ahem. Let her think so she doesn't says "someone like you and not me".]
... A good person is someone who won't necessarily go out of their way for someone they don't even know, that's more selfless, but who has a kind heart regardless. Someone who looks out for the well-being of others. Especially those who need it, even if they might not be the best at caring for themselves.
But I think... most of all though, what makes a person "good" in my mind, is that they don't use or betray the trust others have put so carelessly into them. They don't take advantage of others or go back on their own beliefs.
[Maybe that one's a little broad. Murderers can have their own sense of morals or beliefs and won't go back on them, but it's just... something that's clearly dear to her, in essence.]
...I like to try to do the right thing. I'm not sure if I do it, but I try. And back home, it's... I don't know if it's easier than it is here, but it's a lot more direct.
[You stop the bad guys because they're bad, they hurt lots of people, they try to ruin the world. And that's good. That's all there is to it.]
Is it okay to just care about the people that are important to me, or should I care about everyone? Am I wrong to not care about the natives, even if they treat us poorly? Even if they have reasons for it? Should I fight so people stop killing monsters, or should I look out for my own neck, because there are people that matter more? I choose who I like based on how they treat me, and there are only a few things I won't overlook because I've been treated well by someone that's done terrible things before. I'm still stuck on the guy that killed all of those centipedes, because he didn't kill mine, and I'm scared I'll lose my team if I fight him. And...
Well, I've always stolen a lot, but I don't really care about that. Don't tell anyone.
[Nailed it.]
...So I'm just trying my best, and then there are people like Ludger, Cilan, Jude, and all my friends at home, where being good and doing the right thing comes naturally to them.
But the most she says at first is just a few words:]
Your secret's safe with me.
[... and then she chews the rest around, tapping her fingers across the wood of the counter. For someone like her, is there even a choice to be a "good person," to "do the best she can," something like that? After all she's done, after all she's thought and planned for, does she deserve to want to be a good person the way Silver tries to be?]
People like the ones you listed all make me really mad, you know. They're all just... It's like they were born that way. Like they've never had a dilemma that forced their hand or had them make a choice between what they have to do and what they want to do. Compromising their morals or risk losing something important to them.
[White's fingers tap against ice she's creating with her emotions, envy frosting out from her being. It's cold and desolate.]
What do you consider a good person, Silver? Answering the questions you asked. What would your friends at home do or say?
...That's not true for Ludger, but I know exactly what you're talking about.
[He can give him that much credit.]
A good person...
...Gold isn't a good person.
[Thanks.]
But he does the right thing. ...Crys is a good person, and she'd probably find a way to care about everyone and make sure everyone's okay. But that would just get her hurt. Big sis is like me, but smarter.
[Maybe being a good person's not all it's cracked up to be, then. Leo's a good person too, and of he kept being her friend, if he was still involved for long enough...
White's head snaps up, blinking back tears, and she nods.]
Uh huh! Perfectly okay. I guess it's not so simple after all though, huh? What make someone a good person.
[It stuns White into silence, throat tightening up, and she swallows hard. Not able to look at Silver anymore.]
A lot of people have told me things like that. That they think I'm a good person, a hero, someone that's as decent as them. And I really wish I could agree. But... I don't think I've felt like a good person since before that night three years ago.
She almost wants to test it now, just to tell him why she's not a good person and how there's not a shred of hope for her in that regard, how heartless Junko Enoshima had commented on her being.
But White shrugs, forcing a little laugh.]
Well, I guess it's nice that someone can still say that. [... Anyway.] You, um, seem to be handling envy pretty well, so... taking the cleanser probably isn't necessary. If you want, you can.
I'm bitter about everything under the sun, but I can handle it.
[He should handle it, even. Some of those negative emotions he can't really handle, but... He has to stop avoiding them, right? It's okay to feel them in moderation.
I don't know. I probably should, but I'd want to run them by Jude first since he'd want to look at them... but something tells me he wouldn't be too happy about me making them in the first place.
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How is it?
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I'm furious, I've been furious a million times, but...
[But it would be so nice to storm straight up to Kimbley's place and just punch him and punch him again until he doesn't get up, or maybe cut out the middle man and have Rhyperior do it, or storm over to the Beastmaster Hunting Guild and do something because something is better than nothing.
And that's the problem, isn't it, he's all too eager to pick fights and not care what gets hurt in the process when he's angry, and it endangers him and it endangers his Pokémon. And not feeling anger isn't the answer either, so what is the answer? It has to be-]
I can keep a level head, even if I'm angry. I'm not running out to pick a fight, even if I really want to. I'm not setting myself on fire anymore.
[He's not getting his Pokémon killed anymore.]
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intense, and White's going to take one of his hands. To try and pry it open a little to give him the cleanser, if he wants it, all calm with a hint of contentedness.]
I'm glad to hear that. This place would go up in flame pretty easily if that happened, and I...
[...]
I'm not all that fond of fire myself, so I appreciate the effort.
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...
He doesn't test it for too much longer and drinks it up; the heat drops almost immediately.]
...Still not as bad as the hatred one.
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... You know, I thought I could still feel the effects of this one, but I think I just became more aware of them. It's a weird thing.
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[But he holds out his hands anyway.]
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[Okay. There you go, Silver. Thanks for the trust.]
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[No matter how much you want them. He drinks the last one, and the effect is ice again, but rather than build up on his shoes, it's sharp, jagged, and spreads out and away from him.]
I shouldn't be surprised that those are the things I want.
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[Don't let her be the only petty bitter Betty.]
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[Because envy is a difficult emotion, and it will give him some time to collect his thoughts instead of just lashing out at the first opportunity.]
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Wistful for the things I couldn't possibly have. A normal life, true freedom, people that I-- [don't use almost slips out and she presses her lips hard, gaze flicking away and then back.] That I could, um, trust. Or have as my own, I guess. Romantically. Thing.
[.. It's not a untruth anyway.]
The people I like are either taken, in only for the fun, or... Well, the last is a kind of a special case, so. Has to do with my deal with the devil.
[Kind of a half-joke, from the sounds of it, but maybe it's letting out too much.]
So! I know they're all pretty trivial things, but just stuff like that.
[And that she could be half as decent as some of the people she knows-- she's jealous that they're so good because it's in their nature. It's something she's jealous and hates about Silver too as much as she loves and appreciates it.]
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[...Well that's a way to start this off, isn't it.]
Everyone who's had a normal life, even for a little while. Or who grew up with a loving parent, or didn't have to grow up in the woods. Everyone that has someone they know around, or that knows how to act around people, and-
[...]
What do you think makes a good person, White?
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A good person-- [Ahem. Let her think so she doesn't says "someone like you and not me".]
... A good person is someone who won't necessarily go out of their way for someone they don't even know, that's more selfless, but who has a kind heart regardless. Someone who looks out for the well-being of others. Especially those who need it, even if they might not be the best at caring for themselves.
But I think... most of all though, what makes a person "good" in my mind, is that they don't use or betray the trust others have put so carelessly into them. They don't take advantage of others or go back on their own beliefs.
[Maybe that one's a little broad. Murderers can have their own sense of morals or beliefs and won't go back on them, but it's just... something that's clearly dear to her, in essence.]
Something like that, I guess. Like you.
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...I like to try to do the right thing. I'm not sure if I do it, but I try. And back home, it's... I don't know if it's easier than it is here, but it's a lot more direct.
[You stop the bad guys because they're bad, they hurt lots of people, they try to ruin the world. And that's good. That's all there is to it.]
Is it okay to just care about the people that are important to me, or should I care about everyone? Am I wrong to not care about the natives, even if they treat us poorly? Even if they have reasons for it? Should I fight so people stop killing monsters, or should I look out for my own neck, because there are people that matter more? I choose who I like based on how they treat me, and there are only a few things I won't overlook because I've been treated well by someone that's done terrible things before. I'm still stuck on the guy that killed all of those centipedes, because he didn't kill mine, and I'm scared I'll lose my team if I fight him. And...
Well, I've always stolen a lot, but I don't really care about that. Don't tell anyone.
[Nailed it.]
...So I'm just trying my best, and then there are people like Ludger, Cilan, Jude, and all my friends at home, where being good and doing the right thing comes naturally to them.
[...]
I wish they were around.
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But the most she says at first is just a few words:]
Your secret's safe with me.
[... and then she chews the rest around, tapping her fingers across the wood of the counter. For someone like her, is there even a choice to be a "good person," to "do the best she can," something like that? After all she's done, after all she's thought and planned for, does she deserve to want to be a good person the way Silver tries to be?]
People like the ones you listed all make me really mad, you know. They're all just... It's like they were born that way. Like they've never had a dilemma that forced their hand or had them make a choice between what they have to do and what they want to do. Compromising their morals or risk losing something important to them.
[White's fingers tap against ice she's creating with her emotions, envy frosting out from her being. It's cold and desolate.]
What do you consider a good person, Silver? Answering the questions you asked. What would your friends at home do or say?
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[He can give him that much credit.]
A good person...
...Gold isn't a good person.
[Thanks.]
But he does the right thing. ...Crys is a good person, and she'd probably find a way to care about everyone and make sure everyone's okay. But that would just get her hurt. Big sis is like me, but smarter.
[...This is difficult.]
Are you okay?
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White's head snaps up, blinking back tears, and she nods.]
Uh huh! Perfectly okay. I guess it's not so simple after all though, huh? What make someone a good person.
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[...]
Although by your definition, I think you're a good person too.
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A lot of people have told me things like that. That they think I'm a good person, a hero, someone that's as decent as them. And I really wish I could agree. But... I don't think I've felt like a good person since before that night three years ago.
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[If anything, this conversation's made that much clear; there's a difference between what you are and what you do.]
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She almost wants to test it now, just to tell him why she's not a good person and how there's not a shred of hope for her in that regard, how heartless Junko Enoshima had commented on her being.
But White shrugs, forcing a little laugh.]
Well, I guess it's nice that someone can still say that. [... Anyway.] You, um, seem to be handling envy pretty well, so... taking the cleanser probably isn't necessary. If you want, you can.
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[He should handle it, even. Some of those negative emotions he can't really handle, but... He has to stop avoiding them, right? It's okay to feel them in moderation.
...Sadness and hatred both suck.]
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[For either of them, though with that done... her jittery feelings about the campaign are coming back, crackling starting to pop to life.]
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[He's stuck it through all seven, and... Really, it could have been worse.]
...Are you going to try them out on anyone else?
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[Not with how the Arehtei are.]
Why do you ask?
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