feistytrader | empatheias IC CONTACT

[Well, it's good to see that your priorities are in the right place- ...wait just a minute]

So you think I sound like a psychopath, then?

No, but almost everyone everyone else thought those views were crazy, from someone broken, or both.

[...Well, he's being honest.]

[...Interesting.]

Well, it certainly wouldn't be the first time I was called crazy.

I don't think you're crazy. ...Not any crazier than most of us, anyway.

[We are not a very sane bunch of people.]

But I do wonder if you've been hurt before. ...Then again, that's a stupid thing to wonder, isn't it? From the sounds of it, your world's really harsh to live in. I can't imagine that you wouldn't get hurt.

Ah, I see... Well! If that's what you think, maybe it will make you feel a little better to know that you're quite wrong?

[And that's...dismissive, along the lines of what he was doing the last time they had this sort of discussion.]

I'm actually one of the lucky ones, with a large amount of protection and resources, and a good upbringing on top of it. I'm doing quite well, actually - they say that there aren't any of us that haven't lost anyone, but I can't even claim that, as anyone that might qualify was lost to me before I ever knew them. That hardly counts, doesn't it?

So it isn't as though I'm suffering or anything; I'm doing well for myself.

You don't have to lose someone to be hurt.

[You don't even have to be hated to hurt.]

...You wanted to hear the replies to this, didn't you?

I did, yes. Do continue.

I had a lot of people tell me that feelings like that are impossible to keep away forever, and that it's just delaying the inevitable, or it will be worse when those feelings finally happen. One guy told me that negative feelings go well with catharsis. A few more said it helps you feel happier when the good emotions do come. A couple of people said negative emotions can be useful and good motivators.

But the best answer came from one of my friends. She said...

[How did she put it again? What were her exact words?]

If you love too much, you'll wear yourself out. If you're always calm, you'll be too distant. Being too trusting will make you gullible, too much bravery is recklessness...

...You'll never be satisfied if you're always appreciating something.

[And he'll listen to that, without trying to interrupt or anything; there isn't any sort of emotional spike over the crystal, either, which is presumably both good and bad - he didn't exactly have any revelations, but it's not like he's upset by it, either. It's just...steady.]

...Might I ask you something?

...Yeah. Sure. What is it?

[Steady isn't bad, and sometimes words take time to sink in. Besides, he keeps Kimbley's words close.

...Man, is that weird or what.]

What made you decide that all of this warranted an apology?

...I know we haven't known each other for too long, but I care about you.

[Feelings, right?]

And you sounded like you were about to be upset, then decided otherwise, and were suddenly okay. That's kind of worrying. I thought you avoided negative feelings when you could, not completely. But I couldn't pinpoint how to say why it was worrying, either.

[Thus the, you know. Everything.]

Somewhere in the middle of asking people about this, I realized it wasn't really my business and I'm kind of being a jerk. And ultimately, it doesn't really matter, because you're totally allowed to feel whatever the hell you want anyway, and I should just respect that.

...I see.

[From the sound if it, he doesn't; after a while, he offers what's more or less the mental equivalent of a shrug.]

Ah, I suppose it's endearing, in a way... It's kind of you to be so concerned, at any rate, even if I don't think it's warranted.

Whether this particular thing should have been done or not, you're good to me, and I do appreciate that much.

[...That is all really embarrassing, and that embarrassment is being no stranger to this god damn crystal today.]

Are you- I- thank you?

Don't mention it. And besides, the answers you gave me just now were interesting.

[HE'S PROBABLY GOING TO IGNORE THEM is it obvious]

Were they really?

[...You complimented him to catch him off guard, didn't you.

...

It worked.]

[Youuuuuuuu betcha.]

Yes, of course - I wouldn't bother with saying it otherwise, would I?

So you'll keep them in mind?

[...Yeah right.]

Ah... I'll certainly give them some thought, at any rate.

[oh fuck no are you kidding]

[...For some reason, Silver doesn't believe him...]

Can I ask you one more thing?

I don't see why not! Anything you like.

...How long have you been doing the positive feelings only thing?

Ah, that... I think I was probably a bit younger than you are? So it's been several years now.

...How old are you now?

[At least he didn't underestimate his age to around his. At least he did that much.]

...I'll be turning twenty-two toward the beginning of next month.

empatheias IC CONTACT

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