feistytrader | IC INBOX for recolle

My luck seems bad, but I think it's also good in some ways. It's fine. I'm over it.

[ But, yeah, he was having moments and will probably still have moments. He does think of it... A little more positively now. Somehow. ]

Swinging through the trees, sailing the seas. [ He thinks that would be fun?? But— ] I guess not. Some of my memories seem jumbled in terms of timeline, but... I want to think it isn't the end for us, so I just need to have faith.

[ ... ]

I don't want to lose you... Or anyone else.

Well, I'm not going to forget about you, no matter what.

[He's not sure what one person can do, in a case like that, but it's the most reassuring thing he can say, at this point.]

And if I ever go missing again, I'll do my best to find the nearest dragon to hitch a ride back on, so just wait for me, alright?

[Even then, that doesn't account for anyone else, and as much as he can muster the false confidence over his own well-being, for others, that's...

...]

I don't want to lose anyone either.

[It turned out "okay" this time- if okay means that someone died and they still only have the barest grasp on what happened- but what about next time?]

[ He's about to say something like it's not something anyone can stop, but keeps that to himself. It's still a nice thought and he accepts the sentiment as is. ]

You can't expect me to wait. I'll do my best to help somehow.

[ Even if they may face more mourning, he knows they can't bow down to any adversity. ]

But I'm glad to hear you'll fight back, but it's not like I expected anything less.

Yeah, and I'm sure I'm not the only one, so...

[...]

Man, I really do sound like I'm reciting stuff from an anime. Maybe that's what the protagonists were really trying to tell us all along. The only way to deal with freaky existential stuff is with a bunch of reckless optimism.

In my opinion, I think you can definitely be an anime protagonist. You just need some toast in your mouth?

[ He's laughing a bit. ]

You even have your little sidekicks with you, too.

I don't have a good enough smile for that.

[...]

Or a toaster, while we're at it.

... I don't think that's true. Your smile saved me a long time ago.

[ The biggest heart-to-heart phone call of his life, but— ]

Is that a reference to some movie I never watched as a kid?

[...His smile?]

I mean, I think there's some movie about a toaster, but I just meant that I won't have anywhere to uh... Make my anime toast, and...

[Why does Akira just say stuff like that.

There is the very visible sound of Silver opening his mouth to speak, taking a deep sigh, and letting it back out again. He is so damn grateful that this is a phone call. This is fine, right? Blow it off, make a joke, don't get stuck on it or make it weird and move on.]

My smile did what?

[Silver's managed exactly none of those things.]

All anime toast will be sponsored and funded by the Kurusu Foundation.

[ Did Silver forget that? Akira will cover everything for his sweet Silver. ]

It saved me? That must be weird to hear, but that's what I think it did.

Y-Yeah, it is. So slow down and explain yourself, Akira Kurusu.

[It's super effective! When did this turn from hearing Akira out to this?]

Oh?

[ This is so rare. Akira seldom finds Silver in a state of embarrassment and disarray— ]

Well, when I returned to Recolle, you became my friend, right? I wasn't that great at keeping up, but... You still went out of your way to talk to me and spend time with me even when I never looked at anyone directly. Just one day I happened to look at your face—it was an accident, but you were smiling even though I wasn't that responsive. It was a small smile, nothing big.

[ ... ]

I don't know what the conversation was even about and that really left me shaken. I needed to make changes in my lifestyle... And treat other people, especially those that are kind to me, better.

...I was lonely, and you were a weirdo like me. You didn't seem threatening. Maybe it was easier to approach you because of that distant attitude. So I talked to you. I couldn't tell you what about if I tried. Whether you just didn't care or were a really patient person, I didn't feel unwanted or like a nuisance like I did everywhere else. You just accepted that I was around. That was enough to smile about. I don't think I talked to everyone else combined as much as I talked to you.

[Did he even smile before he met Akira? For something he never would have said just a few months ago, it's much easier to say this out loud than he thought. They grew together. He's grateful they get to experience all of this together, too, even if it's far from an easy ride. They both have other friends now, but...]

I don't think you ever treated people poorly, but if it meant that much to you, I'll try to smile a little more often.

[Too bad smiles don't translate over the phone.]

... Thanks.

[ FOR CALLING HIM A FELLOW WEIRDO? But he doesn't sound at all offended, but he does sigh like really, Silver? There is a smile on his own face as he listens. They are such

idiots. Also, he can argue against the last point, but... ]

You don't need to force yourself. Smile when you feel like it—that's when it's best.

IC INBOX for recolle

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