feistytrader | empatheias IC CONTACT

[Now you're getting her game. Last resort includes kisses.]

Are you doing anything once you're better?

[His expression lights up for a moment... And then he shakes his head. No, no, don't-]

Don't do that.

Do what?

[She's practiced at playing innocent.]

It's okay to say no, but don't lie, then change the subject.

[He says it calmly enough, at least. It isn't getting warmer.]

[Her smile falters for a moment before she lowers her gaze and holds too tightly onto Socks for the cat's comfort, letting go of him when he starts to bat at her.

... Well, now she's got nothing to focus on, but her hands remain at her sides now, clenched.]

I...

[It's hard to say she's not lying when she's called out on it. Black lets her have her lies; Silver doesn't.]

He's my problem. I've dealt with it for three years alone, [the room's temperature dips a little, nervous sparks bouncing off her,] and I'm not going to involve people in any way, Silver. Even if they can handle themselves. Even if they're you.

[Especially because it's him, actually, one of the people who's most important to her in the world. If White could make him forget all he ever learned about her and her brother, if she could find some way to make sure he doesn't get involved the way Leo has to be, then she would.]

At the same time... I do appreciate that you're there. I don't want to just-- snub you or anything like that, because I trust you with a lot of things I don't others and I don't want you to feel like that's not enough. Like I said, I never really had anyone I could rely on about these kind of things, and...

[The first time she did, the first time she wanted to be able to rely on someone, he was connected to the very plan she couldn't talk about, he was the person she should've just been able to use and toss. Silver's not connected like that, but it doesn't make it any less a possibility that there could be a change in plans to include him.]

I don't want to see you get hurt because of me.

You shouldn't have to deal with it alone.

[That snaps out of him before he can really think about it, and he can't really take it back once it's there, so he just lets that sit for a moment while he thinks of what he really wants to say.]

...I don't mind if you keep me out of things, or if you want to deal with them alone. I get it. It's not like I don't have things that I wouldn't want to involve anyone in.

[Petrel. His dad. Sird. Pryce, from the right point in time. Or Master Lance. Will and Karen. A lot of things, actually.]

But just say that. I'll accept a no. I really don't like being lied to.

[The temperature's fluctuating, and he tugs on his gloves.]

And no matter what happens, it's not your fault, okay? If I get involved in your business and I get hurt because of it, it's my fault for getting involved. That's not your responsibility anymore.

[He wouldn't believe those words about his own business, but here he is, saying them anyway.]

Edited 2016-05-20 07:40 (UTC)

It would be my fault, because I told you all that stuff in the first place!

[The nitty gritty about her "health issues". About her brother's deal, about the role she plays in it all. If she'd never told him, if she'd just refused to talk about it in the first place--

The plants are dying again. They won't recover this time either.]

Just-- don't, Silver. Don't even think about it, okay?

[It kind of seems like she's drawing more into herself now, air literally snapping when she takes a step back because of her tension, and the sparks have increased to the point where Socks is not here for this and is clambering onto the couch with Benny, who wakes with a startled bark.]

Please. For your own sake.

I already said that's fine, okay? I won't get involved. Deal with it yourself.

[The heat rises, but it isn't uncomfortable? He looks frustrated enough for it to be, but it's just warm. Warm and comforting.]

I'm not saying let me help. I'm saying stop blaming yourself.

[This warmth is one of the things she likes best about Silver, it's the reason she feels so comfortable and close and why she wants to be around him, but it's a little like poison to her right now because:]

Why can't you just blame me?! I'm not a good person, I'm tired of people saying I am, I'd do anything to bring my brother back and if that meant hurting you all--

[The loose thoughts stop there as White reels herself back in, biting her lip hard and shaking her head.]

I... think you should leave. I'll see you later, okay? Sometime later. Let me know if you find Black. [...] I'm sorry.

I never said you were a good person.

[Oh no, he's not just leaving this on that.]

You're not good or bad. You're a person. You're a person in some awful circumstances, doing what you have to do.

You're a person I care about very much, and I don't like it when you're hard on yourself for things you haven't even done. That you'd only do because they're necessary. I wish you could see half of what I see in you in yourself.

That's all.

[Now he'll leave, and take that warm feeling with him.]

[And it stuns her enough that she doesn't realize he's gone until he's well on his way to wherever he's going, the cold of the house more present than ever before.

... Larger parts of her don't believe him. Some are hurt that he wouldn't fight to say that she's a good person, even if she'd never agree with him anyway on that. But she's still really stuck on "I wish you could see half of what I see in you in yourself." and that's going to be chewing at her until she sees him again, because like she's not going to try and avoid him a little to try and figure out her feelings about it.]

empatheias IC CONTACT

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